5. Upper Class Twit of the Year
The thing that gets me in this sketch is that the cheering crowd is mostly made up of cardboard cut-outs of donkeys.
4. Mastermind
The epitome of the two Ronnies' fantastic wordplay.
3. Two Soups
Julie Walters is such a genius comedy actress; team this with Victoria Wood's genius comedy writing and what results is one of the funniest sketches ever.
2. Breakfast
Classic. It's the timing of it.
1. LOTR spoof
There are no words to describe how much I love this.
Monday 26 December 2011
Friday 23 December 2011
Christmas Recipe
Ingredients:
- 1 packet butterscotch Angel Delight
- 200ml milk
- 100ml Baileys
Instructions:
- Mix
- Whisk
- Wait 5 minutes (whilst drinking Baileys on ice)
- Eat
- Repeat
- 1 packet butterscotch Angel Delight
- 200ml milk
- 100ml Baileys
Instructions:
- Mix
- Whisk
- Wait 5 minutes (whilst drinking Baileys on ice)
- Eat
- Repeat
Sunday 11 September 2011
'Below The Deck' Comedy Night Review: 9/9/11
Having spent the majority of Friday expelling the contents of my stomach into my bin an invitation from a jocular pal to come laugh at him was an opportunity I was in no position to turn down. Upon arriving at The Deck Coffee Shop on Harrowby Street in Cardiff Bay I found myself surprised I hadn’t been here before. The venue is small but has already established itself a quirky little style and, although beers were fairly expensive, me and my weak stomach were pleased at the 85p cokes on sale upstairs.
After a few lovey-chats between the all-male acts and the friendly event-organiser Leroy Brito, we made our way down a small wooden staircase into the basement room, paying the £3 entry fee to Leroy’s lovely girlfriend on the way. I settled myself on the front row; I have a hideously loud coven-cackle and can you imagine having me sat behind you on a comedy night? Hellish.
The compére for the evening was the deadpan boy wonder Patrick Harries. I felt he made a decent compére for his improv skills and fairly witty banter with the audience. After a while I found the compéring to be a tad repetitive and that Harries used all his original material in the introduction to the first act – a mildly humourous bit about working in John Lewis and being stoned. From then on it was a little bit all-filler-no-killer as Harries repeatedly instructed members of the audience to clap and whoop for the acts and engaged in an altercation with the Coffee Shop owner which lasted almost too long for comfort. Luckily, Harries managed to reel it back in shortly before it would have become quite awkward.
Still, never mind that, the first act onto the stage was Simon Emanuel and, this not being my first experience of Emanuel, I knew what we were in for. I was not wrong; Emanuel’s comedy style is fast-paced, ADHD-fuelled, manic and quite simply brilliant. The content is a little predictable by appearance but it hardly matters. I do find it slightly strange that Simon Emanuel has not yet been signed as the sheer volume of gigs he has performed and hard work and energy which goes into each and every performance he certainly deserves to have been.
The chilled performing style of second act Jimmy Berrigan led me to think that not a huge amount of thought was put into the performance ordering. I’ll have to admit that I automatically felt sorry for Berrigan at having to follow Emanuel, purely because his style was so incredibly different. However I liked this guy, I liked his relaxed style. He didn’t fawn over nor did he pander to the audience and was unthreatened if there was no laughter for several beats. Berrigan’s unfazeable demeanour was very endearing and a large section of great comedy about his two daughters drew the biggest laughs. Berrigan’s was a very enjoyable routine.
The final performer before the break was Jason Manly, a warm, experienced comedy gigger from Newport/Dorset who began with some self-depricating jokes which brought the audience immediately onto his side (he is neither a gay porn star nor an American cage fighter). A few of his jokes were classically cheesy which was great and Manly was, believe it or not, the first comedian of the night to talk directly to me when I was about 5 seconds slower than the rest of the room at getting a pun-based joke (I wasn’t WELL, okay?) Manly’s act relaxed the audience into the half-way break and was very enjoyable. I’d recommend catching his act if you ever get the chance.
The first act following the break was my good friend the AVERAGE-SIZED HUMAN BEING Drew Davies who began with some jokes about his height (he swears he’s tall enough to get on *all* of the rollercoasters). Davies had some new material which flowed excellently with his older pieces and I felt the set was paced very well with a mixture of anecdote, philosophy and general ‘wackiness’. A greater part of Davies’ set is a story about ex-girlfriends and I personally found it hilarious when he referred to my friend Cath as his ‘latest’ girlfriend before apologising profusely. This night only being Davies’ fifth live stand-up gig I feel like he is definitely beginning to hit his stride and simply needs to carry on with the same level of ease and confidence he has now developed with his sets.
Dan Hamilton was probably the act who appealed most directly to me on the night. As I was watching I found myself immersed in the psyche of someone heavily comparable to Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks and perhaps only in terms of energy, Rik Mayall. I know that’s a lot of things to suggest to have influenced him, but the mixture of it all was fantastic. I bloody loved it: simple as. Beginning with a short piece about misanthropy allowing him to judge the room Hamilton quickly settled into his shouty, sweaty, austere stride. I might have cried with laughter at a Hitler joke whilst other less... sick people amongst the audience groaned, to which Hamilton replied without missing a beat ‘Too soon?’ Admittedly, ripped directly from Jimmy Carr but this drew a larger laugh as we relaxed into his style a bit more. Hamilton ended with a song to which I related a little too hard and left me fighting for breath through laughter: wonderful stuff. I can highly recommend this guy.
The final act of the night was Geraint Dafydd Evans whose brand of accessible humour went down very well with the audience. I wouldn’t say that Evans was the ‘headline’ of the night as I’m pretty sure that’s not how these nights work but he did handle the most difficult position of the night exceptionally well. It was late and the audience were beginning to get tired (I was starting to feel a little squiffy again) and yet Evans kept us laughing constantly throughout his set. I particularly enjoyed a short bit about making up for being a small man from the Valleys by doing stupid things; cue Evans shoving up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a cartoonish skull and crossbones tattoo: ‘I look like if Glee did a Pirates of the Caribbean special!’ A brilliant closer to a great night of comedy.
All together the night was a strangely-paced, Jew-joke filled, testosteroni-topped pizza and I digested it rather well. (Sorry)
LINKS
Deck Coffee Shop
Simon Emanuel
Jimmy Berrigan
Jason Manly
Drew Davies
Dan Hamilton
Geraint Evans
Patrick Harries
Below The Deck Comedy Club
After a few lovey-chats between the all-male acts and the friendly event-organiser Leroy Brito, we made our way down a small wooden staircase into the basement room, paying the £3 entry fee to Leroy’s lovely girlfriend on the way. I settled myself on the front row; I have a hideously loud coven-cackle and can you imagine having me sat behind you on a comedy night? Hellish.
The compére for the evening was the deadpan boy wonder Patrick Harries. I felt he made a decent compére for his improv skills and fairly witty banter with the audience. After a while I found the compéring to be a tad repetitive and that Harries used all his original material in the introduction to the first act – a mildly humourous bit about working in John Lewis and being stoned. From then on it was a little bit all-filler-no-killer as Harries repeatedly instructed members of the audience to clap and whoop for the acts and engaged in an altercation with the Coffee Shop owner which lasted almost too long for comfort. Luckily, Harries managed to reel it back in shortly before it would have become quite awkward.
Still, never mind that, the first act onto the stage was Simon Emanuel and, this not being my first experience of Emanuel, I knew what we were in for. I was not wrong; Emanuel’s comedy style is fast-paced, ADHD-fuelled, manic and quite simply brilliant. The content is a little predictable by appearance but it hardly matters. I do find it slightly strange that Simon Emanuel has not yet been signed as the sheer volume of gigs he has performed and hard work and energy which goes into each and every performance he certainly deserves to have been.
The chilled performing style of second act Jimmy Berrigan led me to think that not a huge amount of thought was put into the performance ordering. I’ll have to admit that I automatically felt sorry for Berrigan at having to follow Emanuel, purely because his style was so incredibly different. However I liked this guy, I liked his relaxed style. He didn’t fawn over nor did he pander to the audience and was unthreatened if there was no laughter for several beats. Berrigan’s unfazeable demeanour was very endearing and a large section of great comedy about his two daughters drew the biggest laughs. Berrigan’s was a very enjoyable routine.
The final performer before the break was Jason Manly, a warm, experienced comedy gigger from Newport/Dorset who began with some self-depricating jokes which brought the audience immediately onto his side (he is neither a gay porn star nor an American cage fighter). A few of his jokes were classically cheesy which was great and Manly was, believe it or not, the first comedian of the night to talk directly to me when I was about 5 seconds slower than the rest of the room at getting a pun-based joke (I wasn’t WELL, okay?) Manly’s act relaxed the audience into the half-way break and was very enjoyable. I’d recommend catching his act if you ever get the chance.
The first act following the break was my good friend the AVERAGE-SIZED HUMAN BEING Drew Davies who began with some jokes about his height (he swears he’s tall enough to get on *all* of the rollercoasters). Davies had some new material which flowed excellently with his older pieces and I felt the set was paced very well with a mixture of anecdote, philosophy and general ‘wackiness’. A greater part of Davies’ set is a story about ex-girlfriends and I personally found it hilarious when he referred to my friend Cath as his ‘latest’ girlfriend before apologising profusely. This night only being Davies’ fifth live stand-up gig I feel like he is definitely beginning to hit his stride and simply needs to carry on with the same level of ease and confidence he has now developed with his sets.
Dan Hamilton was probably the act who appealed most directly to me on the night. As I was watching I found myself immersed in the psyche of someone heavily comparable to Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks and perhaps only in terms of energy, Rik Mayall. I know that’s a lot of things to suggest to have influenced him, but the mixture of it all was fantastic. I bloody loved it: simple as. Beginning with a short piece about misanthropy allowing him to judge the room Hamilton quickly settled into his shouty, sweaty, austere stride. I might have cried with laughter at a Hitler joke whilst other less... sick people amongst the audience groaned, to which Hamilton replied without missing a beat ‘Too soon?’ Admittedly, ripped directly from Jimmy Carr but this drew a larger laugh as we relaxed into his style a bit more. Hamilton ended with a song to which I related a little too hard and left me fighting for breath through laughter: wonderful stuff. I can highly recommend this guy.
The final act of the night was Geraint Dafydd Evans whose brand of accessible humour went down very well with the audience. I wouldn’t say that Evans was the ‘headline’ of the night as I’m pretty sure that’s not how these nights work but he did handle the most difficult position of the night exceptionally well. It was late and the audience were beginning to get tired (I was starting to feel a little squiffy again) and yet Evans kept us laughing constantly throughout his set. I particularly enjoyed a short bit about making up for being a small man from the Valleys by doing stupid things; cue Evans shoving up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a cartoonish skull and crossbones tattoo: ‘I look like if Glee did a Pirates of the Caribbean special!’ A brilliant closer to a great night of comedy.
All together the night was a strangely-paced, Jew-joke filled, testosteroni-topped pizza and I digested it rather well. (Sorry)
LINKS
Deck Coffee Shop
Simon Emanuel
Jimmy Berrigan
Jason Manly
Drew Davies
Dan Hamilton
Geraint Evans
Patrick Harries
Below The Deck Comedy Club
Thursday 8 September 2011
When I'm alone...
...I find myself cooking whilst singing
"Fuck, I love pesto. I just really love it."
to the tune of Tim Minchin's Boobs song.
"Fuck, I love pesto. I just really love it."
to the tune of Tim Minchin's Boobs song.
Monday 29 August 2011
A Walk To Forget
It's 1am. I want to walk.
I don't know where I'd go...
...but that's hardly the point.
We never truly know where we're walking to, only what we're walking away from.
Why is walking away from this so difficult? It's only walking.
I don't know where I'd go...
...but that's hardly the point.
We never truly know where we're walking to, only what we're walking away from.
Why is walking away from this so difficult? It's only walking.
Sunday 14 August 2011
100 Simple Pleasures - Part 1
001 - Watching Ninja Warrior
002 - Having a nice cup of tea made for me
003 - Being appreciated as a good friend
004 - Having a slightly tipsy, in-depth conversation with a stranger
005 - When one of my cats settles on my lap without being called
006 - Talking to my cousin Aaron without humorously insulting banter
007 - Talking to my cousin Aaron with humorously insulting banter
008 - Waking up early and realising I can have a huge lie in
009 - My LOTR extended edition boxset
010 - Dinosaurs. Anything to do with dinosaurs
011 - When people tell me I'm good at knitting/crochet
012 - Doing the cat-Sellotape-paws dance with Cath and Drew
013 - Alex fucking Butterworth <3
014 - Feeling really comfortable in my own home with amazing housemates
015 - "Hugging it out"
016 - Come Dine With Me
017 - Having a lucky number. It's 17
018 - Starting to feel like my life is coming back together again
019 - My Elekk in WoW
020 - Dipli
021 - Steggy
022 - Memories of the Caribbean
023 - Cwtching up in bed and watching a film
024 - Sheldon Cooper
025 - Retail therapy
026 - Getting enough sleep
027 - An ice cold pint of Coke on a hot day
028 - Tanning really easily
029 - Knowing an answer on University Challenge
030 - TotallyLooksLike.com
031 - Geeky boys
032 - Nerdy boys
033 - Eccentric Englishmen
034 - Pokémon
035 - Ginger cats
036 - Ginger Katts
037 - Doing the fork in the garbage disposal
038 - Simon from Yogscast
039 - Doing the Creep
040 - Whipping my hair
041 - When Jonny DJs at Clwb
042 - A quiz
043 - In-jokes with Rachel
044 - PORK
045 - Male friends who never have been, and never will be, more than that.
046 - Anything written by Graham Linehan
047 - Watching AbFab
048 - Getting into a cycle of Friends quotations
049 - Paddy's Hobbin and Dobbin joke
050 - Being serenaded by Ana Catris
002 - Having a nice cup of tea made for me
003 - Being appreciated as a good friend
004 - Having a slightly tipsy, in-depth conversation with a stranger
005 - When one of my cats settles on my lap without being called
006 - Talking to my cousin Aaron without humorously insulting banter
007 - Talking to my cousin Aaron with humorously insulting banter
008 - Waking up early and realising I can have a huge lie in
009 - My LOTR extended edition boxset
010 - Dinosaurs. Anything to do with dinosaurs
011 - When people tell me I'm good at knitting/crochet
012 - Doing the cat-Sellotape-paws dance with Cath and Drew
013 - Alex fucking Butterworth <3
014 - Feeling really comfortable in my own home with amazing housemates
015 - "Hugging it out"
016 - Come Dine With Me
017 - Having a lucky number. It's 17
018 - Starting to feel like my life is coming back together again
019 - My Elekk in WoW
020 - Dipli
021 - Steggy
022 - Memories of the Caribbean
023 - Cwtching up in bed and watching a film
024 - Sheldon Cooper
025 - Retail therapy
026 - Getting enough sleep
027 - An ice cold pint of Coke on a hot day
028 - Tanning really easily
029 - Knowing an answer on University Challenge
030 - TotallyLooksLike.com
031 - Geeky boys
032 - Nerdy boys
033 - Eccentric Englishmen
034 - Pokémon
035 - Ginger cats
036 - Ginger Katts
037 - Doing the fork in the garbage disposal
038 - Simon from Yogscast
039 - Doing the Creep
040 - Whipping my hair
041 - When Jonny DJs at Clwb
042 - A quiz
043 - In-jokes with Rachel
044 - PORK
045 - Male friends who never have been, and never will be, more than that.
046 - Anything written by Graham Linehan
047 - Watching AbFab
048 - Getting into a cycle of Friends quotations
049 - Paddy's Hobbin and Dobbin joke
050 - Being serenaded by Ana Catris
Tuesday 9 August 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Beautiful Photography
Just wanted to share some of my favourite photography from the last few months.
A mother comforting her son in Concord, Alabama, near his house which was entirely destroyed by a tornado. Photograph: Jeff Roberts/AP
Royal wedding celebrations in the Victoria memorial fountain outside Buckingham Palace. Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty
Lightning over Kathmandu. Photograph: Navesh Chitrakar/Reuters
Lightning over Portland Harbour and Chesil Beach on Dorset's Jurassic Coast. Photograph: Justin Turner/Dorset Media Service
Lava shooting from an Icelandic volcano as photographer Skarphedinn Thrainsson stands nearby (he regularly risks injury to get his pictures) Photograph: Skarphedinn Thrainsson
The Royal Festival Hall stage in london filled with grand pianos from Lang Lang Inspires - the Chinese piano star plays alongside 100 outstanding young British pianists. Photograph: Lewis Whyld/PA
Believe it or not this is actually a photograph. It's of the flooded rice fields of Laohuzui in Yuanyang, Yunnan province, China reflecting the sky. The Hani people have grown rice here for more than 700 years. The blue strips are vegetable greenhouses; the black, rows of trees and water embankments. Photograph: George Doupas/Solent News
The skies above southern Chile the day after an eruption in the Puyehue-Cordón Caulle volcanic chain. An average of 230 earthquakes an hour were recorded in the region before the eruption, which blew an ash cloud six miles high and produced storms of volcanic lightning. Photograph: Francisco Negroni/AP
Chelsea pensioners at the annual Founders Day Parade at the Royal hospital in London. Photograph: Max Mumby
The Olympic stadium in east London as all the arena lights are turned on simultaneously for the first time. Photograph: Jason Hawkes/Barcroft Media
People walking in to a familiar sight at Glastonbury Festival. Photograph: Yui Mok/PA
A pigeon at a fountain in Madrid. Photograph: Dominique Faget/AFP/Getty Images
Gay Pride parade participants march down Regent Street. Photograph: Andy Rain/EPA
A group of crested black macaques at a national park in Indonesia turn the tables on wildlife photographer David Slater. Photograph: Wild Monkey/David Slater/Caters News
Artist David Mach's most recent piece, Golgotha, made from coat hangers and pinned to steel girders. Photograph: Rosie Hallam/Barcroft Media
A calf leaps over revellers in the bullring after a running of the bulls at the San Fermin fiesta in Pamplona, Spain. Photograph: Ivan Aguinaga/AP
Samantha Langsdale plays at the 27th Underwater Music Festival off Florida. About 500 musical divers took part. Photograph: Dan Burton/Barcroft Media
Sydney Truba, 11, participates in Mud Day, when 75,000 litres of water are mixed with 180 tonnes of topsoil to create a giant sludge bath in Michigan. Photograph: Bill Pugliano/Getty Images
Lucien Freud, who recently died aged 88, working in his Holland Park studio in 2005. David Dawson, Freud's long-time assistant, artist and photographer, took the picture. Photograph: David Dawson
A mother comforting her son in Concord, Alabama, near his house which was entirely destroyed by a tornado. Photograph: Jeff Roberts/AP
Royal wedding celebrations in the Victoria memorial fountain outside Buckingham Palace. Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty
Lightning over Kathmandu. Photograph: Navesh Chitrakar/Reuters
Lightning over Portland Harbour and Chesil Beach on Dorset's Jurassic Coast. Photograph: Justin Turner/Dorset Media Service
Lava shooting from an Icelandic volcano as photographer Skarphedinn Thrainsson stands nearby (he regularly risks injury to get his pictures) Photograph: Skarphedinn Thrainsson
The Royal Festival Hall stage in london filled with grand pianos from Lang Lang Inspires - the Chinese piano star plays alongside 100 outstanding young British pianists. Photograph: Lewis Whyld/PA
Believe it or not this is actually a photograph. It's of the flooded rice fields of Laohuzui in Yuanyang, Yunnan province, China reflecting the sky. The Hani people have grown rice here for more than 700 years. The blue strips are vegetable greenhouses; the black, rows of trees and water embankments. Photograph: George Doupas/Solent News
The skies above southern Chile the day after an eruption in the Puyehue-Cordón Caulle volcanic chain. An average of 230 earthquakes an hour were recorded in the region before the eruption, which blew an ash cloud six miles high and produced storms of volcanic lightning. Photograph: Francisco Negroni/AP
Chelsea pensioners at the annual Founders Day Parade at the Royal hospital in London. Photograph: Max Mumby
The Olympic stadium in east London as all the arena lights are turned on simultaneously for the first time. Photograph: Jason Hawkes/Barcroft Media
People walking in to a familiar sight at Glastonbury Festival. Photograph: Yui Mok/PA
A pigeon at a fountain in Madrid. Photograph: Dominique Faget/AFP/Getty Images
Gay Pride parade participants march down Regent Street. Photograph: Andy Rain/EPA
A group of crested black macaques at a national park in Indonesia turn the tables on wildlife photographer David Slater. Photograph: Wild Monkey/David Slater/Caters News
Artist David Mach's most recent piece, Golgotha, made from coat hangers and pinned to steel girders. Photograph: Rosie Hallam/Barcroft Media
A calf leaps over revellers in the bullring after a running of the bulls at the San Fermin fiesta in Pamplona, Spain. Photograph: Ivan Aguinaga/AP
Samantha Langsdale plays at the 27th Underwater Music Festival off Florida. About 500 musical divers took part. Photograph: Dan Burton/Barcroft Media
Sydney Truba, 11, participates in Mud Day, when 75,000 litres of water are mixed with 180 tonnes of topsoil to create a giant sludge bath in Michigan. Photograph: Bill Pugliano/Getty Images
Lucien Freud, who recently died aged 88, working in his Holland Park studio in 2005. David Dawson, Freud's long-time assistant, artist and photographer, took the picture. Photograph: David Dawson
Tuesday 26 July 2011
When you're part-Italian...
...a quick midnight snack is a huge bowl of pasta with cubes of succulent fried chicken, homemade pesto made with leaves from your own basil plant, juicy warm olives and a sprinkling of parmesan on top.
I love my heritage.
Sunday 24 July 2011
Torchwood Review: Miracle Day - The New World (Ep. 1) Part 1
******N.B. THIS POST CONTAINS *SO* MANY EPISODE SPOILERS.******
This is not a review, as such, more a rambling stream of consciousness, most of which will make very little sense to most reading it. Sorry about that.
Also, please note that my screenshots are douchey because they're from my iPad and are not authorised by the BBC but all images are copyright to the BBC and Starz and blahblahlblahlhlag
I'm sure I'm not the only person to say that I was a little bit worried about what state Torchwood would return to our screens in after the deal with Starz. Children of Earth was, in my opinion, one of the greatest, most chilling, mini-series I'd ever seen, so when this time last year Starz, BBC Wales and BBC Worldwide announced a ten episode mini-series from Torchwood I was anxious to see if Children of Earth could be topped.
So far, I am not convinced.
This is probably due to the writing credit of the first episode: Russell T. Davies.
Yes, sure, we all owe him a little something something for rebooting Doctor Who to its mainstream status and for *creating* Torchwood, but his scriptwriting is badly-paced and oftentimes ridiculous to the point of annoying. However, I'm not going to let that ruin my watching of this episode too much as I know later in the series Jane Espenson has written (and co-written) some episodes. Torchwood is in wonderful hands there.
The first episode of Miracle Day opens with a news report from Montrose Hill State Penitentiary about the death sentence of Oswald Danes, played by Bill Pullman (the best thing about Miracle Day so far, might I add).
For some reason the shots of the Neve-Campbell-lookalike-reporter's face go really close and flail about by her mouth a bit, as if the audience are supposed to feel like an annoying fly. Or maybe it's meant to bring us 'closer' to the news. Who knows? I thought it was a little bit silly.
We see a shot of Oswald Danes awaiting his execution and he is terrifying. Bill Pullman is far from the friendly guy I loved in While You Were Sleeping; he's in character as a paedophile rapist murderer, or as close to that mentality as it's legal for actors to get (let's never let Christian Bale play a role like that please?)
Next we have more sweepy camera shots in the execution room with a slight haze around the edges, presumably to make us feel all drugged up like Oswald Danes is. Cheers, Starz, for that attempt to make me feel like a paedophile rapist murderer about to be executed, always wondered what that was like.
The first notion of 'Miracle Day' we get is when Oswald is given his lethal injection. He appears, at first, to be going into the drug-induced coma before execution but then begins thrashing around and choking.
WHY WON'T HE DIE? Oh, right, yeah.
Next up we see the mouth (and then the face) of Esther Drummond, played by Alexa Havins. She's asking CIA Agent Rex Matheson, played by Mehki Phifer, if he's heard of Torchwood but all he seems interested in is driving fast and talking gleefully about his friend's wife's leaukemia. He's happy because he might get a promotion due to the fatal illness of a work colleague's spouse. Hnh. Not that likeable a character to begin with, if I'm being honest. Poor Steve. Let's hope something bad happens to Rex, eh?
Us die-hard Torchwood fans are then treated to a dabbling of comedy as the silly old Americans don't understand: "No, no, it's not 'touch wood', it's 'TORCHwood'". Ho, ho, ho. Then Torchwood is explained for the new watchers. I feel sorry for the new watchers.
Rex makes it clear that he doesn't give a crap about Torchwood and asks Esther to get a 'timeline' on Steve's wife's illness. What a douche. Please let something bad happen to him.
WOO! There we go. He's dead, right? RIGHT?
After a short re-introduction of the incredible Eve Myles as Gwen (and her husband Rhys) we see the titles, which I really like.
Then we see Rex being rushed into hospital. WE THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. WHAT IS GOING ON?
'He's the second one tonight. DOAs that just won't die!'
The following sequence SCREAMS "RUSSELL T. DAVIES WROTE ME! RUSSELL T. DAVIES WROTE ME!" But hey, it's got Eve Myles in it, so I don't care too much about that. It's all a little silly bit of a filler about how Gwen, Rhys and their newborn baby Anwen (gorgeous name) went into hiding somewhere remote in Wales (basically anywhere in Wales north of Caerphilly). But how can we be sure that it's actually in Wales?
Oh. Never mind, then.
YES. FINE. THE SHEEP WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH.
After this we learn more about how unpopular Rex Matheson is when nobody except his colleague visits him at the hospital. Esther and Dr. Vera Juarez have a very repetitive conversation which basically says that nobody in the world has died in the past 24 hours. What follows is more stupid fake news reporting with the weird flail-near-the-mouth-to-emphasise-the-words 'technique'.
"They're calling it 'Miracle Day'."
"'Miracle Day'"
"'Miracle Day'"
"'Miracle Day!'"
"'MIRACLE DAY!!!'"
Lol, they done said the name of the show. Hur hur.
Next up is a little ridiculous sequence which aims to explain why Oswald Danes didn't die. The guy from the governer's office is a southern hick and I spent the entire scene hoping he would suddenly scream 'WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU?!' He didn't, though.
Oswald Danes (with some help from his lawyers (who must hate themselves oh SO much)) then bitchslaps Brokeback Representative with the fact that his sentence was carried out so technically, TECHNICALLY, he's a free man. Ohshit.
Bill Pullman delivers his lines in a slurred, breathless and almost hypnotic fashion which is haunting and mesmerising all at once. He's definitely the best thing about this episode.
Next bit is kinda boring. Just about how nobody's paying attention to Torchwood anymore and isn't that a bit strange, don't you think? Well? Don't you? Holy mother of Odin though, look at how creased her skirt is. Ridiculous.
We witness the Grinch- sorry, Rex's heart grow three sizes as he watches reports of 'miracles' on the telly.
I'm kinda warming to him now, aren't you? I think we're supposed to be :)
At this point, nearly a third of the way through the episode, I have to admit I was pining for my Barrowman a little bit. Seriously, losing interest here. This is typical Russell T. Davies; dragging out what is obvious to intelligent viewers so that everyone else can catch up. People aren't dying even though they should be. And they're only just starting to raise the problems which might come from this: Walking corpses, loss of space in hospitals, booming population, mis-executed paedophiles on the loose. Dear, oh dear.
Back to Wales now, where Gwen, Rhys and Anwen are busy being Welsh. Gwen gets a phonecall on her special hidden mobile phone which no one's meant to know the number to. I got excited at this point because I recognised a road in Cardiff:
This scene draws Gwen into the action as we find out her father is in the hospital. (It's okay, Gwen. He won't die). Finally, the episode can start to pick up.
Meanwhile, Esther is doing some investigating into Torchwood. She finds the '456' file, at which point I break down - "OH, GOD. IANTOOOOO. WHY? WHY, IANTO?!"
I quickly recover though, because LOOK WHO'S HERE.
YAY!!
Following this is some general Captain Jack Harkness kickassery where he shoots a bad guy who's strapped to a bunch of explosives and runs around being awesome.
See? Awesome.
Oh. Now he's wet. Awesome. Just, awesome.
People want Jack dead on the very day that no one can die. Intriguing and upsetting.
Here Esther acts on behalf of the unknowing audience (another Russell T. Davies favourite technique) and asks pressing questions like 'What is Torchwood?' 'Was that your father in that photo?' and 'Are you all right?'
She doesn't understand that Jack's hurt arm is veeery significant. Something strange is going down here; he's hurt when usually he doesn't get hurt and people aren't dying when they should be.
The Torchwood institute was set up by the British Royal Family in 1879 to defend the realm of Great Britain by investigating the unusual, the strange and the alien.
Jack admits that the email just saying "Torchwood" wasn't him. Now things are getting interesting. Was it from someone who means harm or not?
Haaha, he used RedCon on her. Can you say date rape?
Rex is angry, and getting INVOLVED.
Jack gets his FBI on with Dr. Vera.
And yep, under ^there^ is the 'reconstructed' living body of the man who we know exploded only minutes previously in the episode. This is all a bit too awesome now.
OH GOD YES. I love that Torchwood will go places that Doctor Who just CAN'T. Epic graphic win.
'He's not indestructible, just, not dying'
Jack awesomely suggests that they remove the head and see what happens. I like Jack.
So, Surgeon Barack Obama goes to do it.
GAH!!! He's still alive! Okay, Torchwood is back. That's freaky dude.
'Who could do this? Who's got the technology? Simple answer: No one on this Earth'.
Awwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaa. (I get very excited)
Miracle Day - The New World (Ep.1) Part 2 coming VERY SOON. Promise.
This is not a review, as such, more a rambling stream of consciousness, most of which will make very little sense to most reading it. Sorry about that.
Also, please note that my screenshots are douchey because they're from my iPad and are not authorised by the BBC but all images are copyright to the BBC and Starz and blahblahlblahlhlag
I'm sure I'm not the only person to say that I was a little bit worried about what state Torchwood would return to our screens in after the deal with Starz. Children of Earth was, in my opinion, one of the greatest, most chilling, mini-series I'd ever seen, so when this time last year Starz, BBC Wales and BBC Worldwide announced a ten episode mini-series from Torchwood I was anxious to see if Children of Earth could be topped.
So far, I am not convinced.
This is probably due to the writing credit of the first episode: Russell T. Davies.
Yes, sure, we all owe him a little something something for rebooting Doctor Who to its mainstream status and for *creating* Torchwood, but his scriptwriting is badly-paced and oftentimes ridiculous to the point of annoying. However, I'm not going to let that ruin my watching of this episode too much as I know later in the series Jane Espenson has written (and co-written) some episodes. Torchwood is in wonderful hands there.
The first episode of Miracle Day opens with a news report from Montrose Hill State Penitentiary about the death sentence of Oswald Danes, played by Bill Pullman (the best thing about Miracle Day so far, might I add).
For some reason the shots of the Neve-Campbell-lookalike-reporter's face go really close and flail about by her mouth a bit, as if the audience are supposed to feel like an annoying fly. Or maybe it's meant to bring us 'closer' to the news. Who knows? I thought it was a little bit silly.
We see a shot of Oswald Danes awaiting his execution and he is terrifying. Bill Pullman is far from the friendly guy I loved in While You Were Sleeping; he's in character as a paedophile rapist murderer, or as close to that mentality as it's legal for actors to get (let's never let Christian Bale play a role like that please?)
Next we have more sweepy camera shots in the execution room with a slight haze around the edges, presumably to make us feel all drugged up like Oswald Danes is. Cheers, Starz, for that attempt to make me feel like a paedophile rapist murderer about to be executed, always wondered what that was like.
The first notion of 'Miracle Day' we get is when Oswald is given his lethal injection. He appears, at first, to be going into the drug-induced coma before execution but then begins thrashing around and choking.
WHY WON'T HE DIE? Oh, right, yeah.
Next up we see the mouth (and then the face) of Esther Drummond, played by Alexa Havins. She's asking CIA Agent Rex Matheson, played by Mehki Phifer, if he's heard of Torchwood but all he seems interested in is driving fast and talking gleefully about his friend's wife's leaukemia. He's happy because he might get a promotion due to the fatal illness of a work colleague's spouse. Hnh. Not that likeable a character to begin with, if I'm being honest. Poor Steve. Let's hope something bad happens to Rex, eh?
Us die-hard Torchwood fans are then treated to a dabbling of comedy as the silly old Americans don't understand: "No, no, it's not 'touch wood', it's 'TORCHwood'". Ho, ho, ho. Then Torchwood is explained for the new watchers. I feel sorry for the new watchers.
Rex makes it clear that he doesn't give a crap about Torchwood and asks Esther to get a 'timeline' on Steve's wife's illness. What a douche. Please let something bad happen to him.
WOO! There we go. He's dead, right? RIGHT?
After a short re-introduction of the incredible Eve Myles as Gwen (and her husband Rhys) we see the titles, which I really like.
Then we see Rex being rushed into hospital. WE THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. WHAT IS GOING ON?
'He's the second one tonight. DOAs that just won't die!'
The following sequence SCREAMS "RUSSELL T. DAVIES WROTE ME! RUSSELL T. DAVIES WROTE ME!" But hey, it's got Eve Myles in it, so I don't care too much about that. It's all a little silly bit of a filler about how Gwen, Rhys and their newborn baby Anwen (gorgeous name) went into hiding somewhere remote in Wales (basically anywhere in Wales north of Caerphilly). But how can we be sure that it's actually in Wales?
Oh. Never mind, then.
YES. FINE. THE SHEEP WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH.
After this we learn more about how unpopular Rex Matheson is when nobody except his colleague visits him at the hospital. Esther and Dr. Vera Juarez have a very repetitive conversation which basically says that nobody in the world has died in the past 24 hours. What follows is more stupid fake news reporting with the weird flail-near-the-mouth-to-emphasise-the-words 'technique'.
"They're calling it 'Miracle Day'."
"'Miracle Day'"
"'Miracle Day'"
"'Miracle Day!'"
"'MIRACLE DAY!!!'"
Lol, they done said the name of the show. Hur hur.
Next up is a little ridiculous sequence which aims to explain why Oswald Danes didn't die. The guy from the governer's office is a southern hick and I spent the entire scene hoping he would suddenly scream 'WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU?!' He didn't, though.
Oswald Danes (with some help from his lawyers (who must hate themselves oh SO much)) then bitchslaps Brokeback Representative with the fact that his sentence was carried out so technically, TECHNICALLY, he's a free man. Ohshit.
Bill Pullman delivers his lines in a slurred, breathless and almost hypnotic fashion which is haunting and mesmerising all at once. He's definitely the best thing about this episode.
Next bit is kinda boring. Just about how nobody's paying attention to Torchwood anymore and isn't that a bit strange, don't you think? Well? Don't you? Holy mother of Odin though, look at how creased her skirt is. Ridiculous.
We witness the Grinch- sorry, Rex's heart grow three sizes as he watches reports of 'miracles' on the telly.
I'm kinda warming to him now, aren't you? I think we're supposed to be :)
At this point, nearly a third of the way through the episode, I have to admit I was pining for my Barrowman a little bit. Seriously, losing interest here. This is typical Russell T. Davies; dragging out what is obvious to intelligent viewers so that everyone else can catch up. People aren't dying even though they should be. And they're only just starting to raise the problems which might come from this: Walking corpses, loss of space in hospitals, booming population, mis-executed paedophiles on the loose. Dear, oh dear.
Back to Wales now, where Gwen, Rhys and Anwen are busy being Welsh. Gwen gets a phonecall on her special hidden mobile phone which no one's meant to know the number to. I got excited at this point because I recognised a road in Cardiff:
This scene draws Gwen into the action as we find out her father is in the hospital. (It's okay, Gwen. He won't die). Finally, the episode can start to pick up.
Meanwhile, Esther is doing some investigating into Torchwood. She finds the '456' file, at which point I break down - "OH, GOD. IANTOOOOO. WHY? WHY, IANTO?!"
I quickly recover though, because LOOK WHO'S HERE.
YAY!!
Following this is some general Captain Jack Harkness kickassery where he shoots a bad guy who's strapped to a bunch of explosives and runs around being awesome.
See? Awesome.
Oh. Now he's wet. Awesome. Just, awesome.
People want Jack dead on the very day that no one can die. Intriguing and upsetting.
Here Esther acts on behalf of the unknowing audience (another Russell T. Davies favourite technique) and asks pressing questions like 'What is Torchwood?' 'Was that your father in that photo?' and 'Are you all right?'
She doesn't understand that Jack's hurt arm is veeery significant. Something strange is going down here; he's hurt when usually he doesn't get hurt and people aren't dying when they should be.
The Torchwood institute was set up by the British Royal Family in 1879 to defend the realm of Great Britain by investigating the unusual, the strange and the alien.
Jack admits that the email just saying "Torchwood" wasn't him. Now things are getting interesting. Was it from someone who means harm or not?
Haaha, he used RedCon on her. Can you say date rape?
Rex is angry, and getting INVOLVED.
Jack gets his FBI on with Dr. Vera.
And yep, under ^there^ is the 'reconstructed' living body of the man who we know exploded only minutes previously in the episode. This is all a bit too awesome now.
OH GOD YES. I love that Torchwood will go places that Doctor Who just CAN'T. Epic graphic win.
'He's not indestructible, just, not dying'
Jack awesomely suggests that they remove the head and see what happens. I like Jack.
So, Surgeon Barack Obama goes to do it.
GAH!!! He's still alive! Okay, Torchwood is back. That's freaky dude.
'Who could do this? Who's got the technology? Simple answer: No one on this Earth'.
Awwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaa. (I get very excited)
Miracle Day - The New World (Ep.1) Part 2 coming VERY SOON. Promise.
Life Update Again
Getting sick of these now, eh? Ah well
Job: I have a job! I start on Wednesday! It's so, so far from a dream job (i.e. working in a call centre) but for now, it's money in the bank. I also interviewed with Specsavers yesterday afternoon so we'll see how that goes too. I'd rather do that to be honest.
Move out of Cathays: Done! Living in Heath. I whinged before that it was further from my boyfriend, but we are no longer and I get a nice healthy foot-killing walk into town. Could be worse.
Book Club: Decided to hold off starting my own for a bit but have joined Cardiff Read which meets once a month at Chapter in Canton. Next month's book is The Scarlet Letter which is what inspires Olive to become 'Easy A' in one of my favourite films of the same name. It was meant to be. I'll enjoy that one.
Choir: I emailed the director of a choir who said that once their rehearsals begin again in September I am welcome to come along to a few before auditioning, so fingers crossed for that!
Karate/archery: No cigar, yet. Need to be more stable with my monies before I start looking into these.
Writing: Literally just now sent off my Masters application. Also last night I was talking to a friend who now lives in London but was a writer on the Cardiff comedy circuit previously. We's gonna do some scriptwriting together which is majorly exciting for me. I'll hopefully talk to Ana soon about getting back on track with the comic book art too.
TA DA! Apart from unstable financial situation, life's not too horrendously shabby right now. :]
Job: I have a job! I start on Wednesday! It's so, so far from a dream job (i.e. working in a call centre) but for now, it's money in the bank. I also interviewed with Specsavers yesterday afternoon so we'll see how that goes too. I'd rather do that to be honest.
Move out of Cathays: Done! Living in Heath. I whinged before that it was further from my boyfriend, but we are no longer and I get a nice healthy foot-killing walk into town. Could be worse.
Book Club: Decided to hold off starting my own for a bit but have joined Cardiff Read which meets once a month at Chapter in Canton. Next month's book is The Scarlet Letter which is what inspires Olive to become 'Easy A' in one of my favourite films of the same name. It was meant to be. I'll enjoy that one.
Choir: I emailed the director of a choir who said that once their rehearsals begin again in September I am welcome to come along to a few before auditioning, so fingers crossed for that!
Karate/archery: No cigar, yet. Need to be more stable with my monies before I start looking into these.
Writing: Literally just now sent off my Masters application. Also last night I was talking to a friend who now lives in London but was a writer on the Cardiff comedy circuit previously. We's gonna do some scriptwriting together which is majorly exciting for me. I'll hopefully talk to Ana soon about getting back on track with the comic book art too.
TA DA! Apart from unstable financial situation, life's not too horrendously shabby right now. :]
Thursday 2 June 2011
Growing Up(date) Like... Update. Geddit?
Nearly a month ago I posted this blog about the crossroads I've hit in my life. Just wanted to post a quick update with how I'm doing on all the counts.
Find a job - well literally just a few hours ago I finished my CV and applied for no less than 10 jobs. We'll see...
Moving out of Cathays - we can put a big fat tick next to this one. No, a TICK. Not a tic. I don't want a bloodsucking mite next to it. As of July 1st I will be living in Heath. So what if it's the next area on from Cathays and further from town and my boyfriend? It's still NOT CATHAYS. Ding!
Book club - still haven't started plans for my own yet, was going to wait until I'd settled in the new house to do that, but I have joined a BookTwub on twitter. First book is The Great Gatsby and we're meant to be discussing it this Sunday, although no one has mentioned it in a while, I'm still curious to see how that one goes.
Karate/choir/archery - no progress yet. Want to get cashmoney sorted before I can start being frivolous and paying for such things!
Writing - Ana has begun research on the artwork for my idea and I'm doing some sample writing work forSidekick, which is very exciting. It's unpaid but I don't mind that right now. It's all published.
Find a job - well literally just a few hours ago I finished my CV and applied for no less than 10 jobs. We'll see...
Moving out of Cathays - we can put a big fat tick next to this one. No, a TICK. Not a tic. I don't want a bloodsucking mite next to it. As of July 1st I will be living in Heath. So what if it's the next area on from Cathays and further from town and my boyfriend? It's still NOT CATHAYS. Ding!
Book club - still haven't started plans for my own yet, was going to wait until I'd settled in the new house to do that, but I have joined a BookTwub on twitter. First book is The Great Gatsby and we're meant to be discussing it this Sunday, although no one has mentioned it in a while, I'm still curious to see how that one goes.
Karate/choir/archery - no progress yet. Want to get cashmoney sorted before I can start being frivolous and paying for such things!
Writing - Ana has begun research on the artwork for my idea and I'm doing some sample writing work forSidekick, which is very exciting. It's unpaid but I don't mind that right now. It's all published.
Thursday 5 May 2011
Becoming a Grown Up
I finish my undergraduate degree in 10 days (even though I don't technically graduate until July) and there are several things which I plan to do after I've finished.
In my three years living in Cardiff I've mainly (believe it or not) focussed on my degree. That and making friends, forming new relationships and 'finding myself'. Ha. So now that I'm finishing I feel like I should rejoin my former self and incongregate myself into the Cardiff community. I want to embrace my talents and actually achieve other things extra-curricular...ly now that I have my fancy 'BAAAA' (or just BA, I've been told) after my name.
The first is obvious, and probably the most upsetting and scary for me: find a job. Right now it's any job which will allow me to pay rent and live comfortably. I'm hoping for £12k upwards. Chance would be a fine thing.
The second is to move out of Cathays. There's a possibility this MAY not happen. We're house hunting on the 17th May and obviously it depends what/where/how much is best for the collective three of us. But moving out of Cathays, I feel, would definitely help me feel like much less of a student.
Thirdly, and strangely, I want to start a book club. I don't want to finish my degree in English Literature and then feel like I don't make time for reading any more. So once I've moved into the new house (hopefully not in Cathays) and settled in, once a month I'll hopefully be hosting a book club evening with wine and cheese and crackers and literature and other fancy grown-up things! I really don't want to lose my love of reading. I don't think I will seeing as all three of us in the house will be English Lit graduates with me doing a Master's in Scriptwriting, Lucy doing a Master's in Creative Writing and Katt doing a PGCE with hopes of teaching English Literature. Let's keep the love alive, people.
Fourthly: this was one I've been considering for a while. I've become all lazy and unfit and I hate going to the gym. So I want to start being active again. I obviously turned immediately to martial arts. I love the discipline and regimen of the arts and I really feel like it's something I would go to weekly or even twice a week. I was really excited about this one Taekwon Do club I found, even though the instructor looked like a bit of a self-righteous arse. However, when I came home the other day and told my mum about this she reminded me that my uncle (a Sensei in Tsuen-mo-Luen karate) had had one of his former pupils open a branch of the club in Cardiff. I used to train at Tsuen-mo-Luen and am already pretty high on the belt system so this was very exciting for me. Lo and behold, Glamorgan Karate branch have a website and I'm definitely starting this. Who knows? If I train enough I can become an instructor (if my Uncle trusts me enough. Which he won't. Ha). So there's that. Karate on a Monday and/or a Wednesday (7.30-9). AND AND AND they do the gradings in Yeovil, which is obviously nice for me. :D
WEBSITE
Fifthly (what a strange word): Singing. More specifically joining a choir/choral society. Oddly enough I was thinking about this during the Royal Wedding. I found myself singing along with the choral music and really properly missing it. I researched choral societies in Cardiff and a lot of the really good ones required an audition - which is fine - comprising a prepared solo piece - also fine, I have confidence in my ability - but also a sight reading audition - not so fine. I know that I can sight read, but not having been in a choir for three years means I'm less than fully confident with my sight reading, which is what I'd really like to be before auditioning. So what I think I'm going to do is join one of the (probably shitter) choirs which don't require an audition, just to get my sight reading and performance back up to scratch and then arrange an audition. WATCH THIS SPACE. Excited about this one too.
Sixthly (hoo boy): writing. Yeah, I'm doing the Master's in Scriptwriting but I feel like I should actually be doing some extra-curricular writing too. So, that. I've already given an artist friend of mine character descriptions for a comic book which I plan to script. It is very exciting. She's a phenomenal artist, loves my concept and I'm pretty sure she'll draw something close to what I picture, or failing that, 100x better than I ever could have imagined. This is also very exciting.
Seventh...ly (getting a bit absurd now, right?), continuing on from the fourthly, more sports. I quite like my obscure sports and a little known fact about me is that I *LOVE* archery. Like, properly LOVE IT. I used to have a bow and a straw target, but they got sold and the only places I could arch were at my ex's house or my friend Louise's castle. I haven't done it properly in absolutely ages and this makes me do a sad. With research I found a pretty awesome club. HERE'S THE CLUB. They offer a beginners course of six hour-long sessions in safety and basic technique. And it's only £30. Six lessons for £30 is rather damn good if I say so myself. After the course you can then join the club. The website doesn't specify what the membership fee is and I know that I'd have to buy my own equipment but I could actually finally participate in tournaments which would be FUCKING. EPIC. That is all.
No seriously, that is all. For now. I'll probably come up with more hairbrained schemes and add to this later.
In my three years living in Cardiff I've mainly (believe it or not) focussed on my degree. That and making friends, forming new relationships and 'finding myself'. Ha. So now that I'm finishing I feel like I should rejoin my former self and incongregate myself into the Cardiff community. I want to embrace my talents and actually achieve other things extra-curricular...ly now that I have my fancy 'BAAAA' (or just BA, I've been told) after my name.
The first is obvious, and probably the most upsetting and scary for me: find a job. Right now it's any job which will allow me to pay rent and live comfortably. I'm hoping for £12k upwards. Chance would be a fine thing.
The second is to move out of Cathays. There's a possibility this MAY not happen. We're house hunting on the 17th May and obviously it depends what/where/how much is best for the collective three of us. But moving out of Cathays, I feel, would definitely help me feel like much less of a student.
Thirdly, and strangely, I want to start a book club. I don't want to finish my degree in English Literature and then feel like I don't make time for reading any more. So once I've moved into the new house (hopefully not in Cathays) and settled in, once a month I'll hopefully be hosting a book club evening with wine and cheese and crackers and literature and other fancy grown-up things! I really don't want to lose my love of reading. I don't think I will seeing as all three of us in the house will be English Lit graduates with me doing a Master's in Scriptwriting, Lucy doing a Master's in Creative Writing and Katt doing a PGCE with hopes of teaching English Literature. Let's keep the love alive, people.
Fourthly: this was one I've been considering for a while. I've become all lazy and unfit and I hate going to the gym. So I want to start being active again. I obviously turned immediately to martial arts. I love the discipline and regimen of the arts and I really feel like it's something I would go to weekly or even twice a week. I was really excited about this one Taekwon Do club I found, even though the instructor looked like a bit of a self-righteous arse. However, when I came home the other day and told my mum about this she reminded me that my uncle (a Sensei in Tsuen-mo-Luen karate) had had one of his former pupils open a branch of the club in Cardiff. I used to train at Tsuen-mo-Luen and am already pretty high on the belt system so this was very exciting for me. Lo and behold, Glamorgan Karate branch have a website and I'm definitely starting this. Who knows? If I train enough I can become an instructor (if my Uncle trusts me enough. Which he won't. Ha). So there's that. Karate on a Monday and/or a Wednesday (7.30-9). AND AND AND they do the gradings in Yeovil, which is obviously nice for me. :D
WEBSITE
Fifthly (what a strange word): Singing. More specifically joining a choir/choral society. Oddly enough I was thinking about this during the Royal Wedding. I found myself singing along with the choral music and really properly missing it. I researched choral societies in Cardiff and a lot of the really good ones required an audition - which is fine - comprising a prepared solo piece - also fine, I have confidence in my ability - but also a sight reading audition - not so fine. I know that I can sight read, but not having been in a choir for three years means I'm less than fully confident with my sight reading, which is what I'd really like to be before auditioning. So what I think I'm going to do is join one of the (probably shitter) choirs which don't require an audition, just to get my sight reading and performance back up to scratch and then arrange an audition. WATCH THIS SPACE. Excited about this one too.
Sixthly (hoo boy): writing. Yeah, I'm doing the Master's in Scriptwriting but I feel like I should actually be doing some extra-curricular writing too. So, that. I've already given an artist friend of mine character descriptions for a comic book which I plan to script. It is very exciting. She's a phenomenal artist, loves my concept and I'm pretty sure she'll draw something close to what I picture, or failing that, 100x better than I ever could have imagined. This is also very exciting.
Seventh...ly (getting a bit absurd now, right?), continuing on from the fourthly, more sports. I quite like my obscure sports and a little known fact about me is that I *LOVE* archery. Like, properly LOVE IT. I used to have a bow and a straw target, but they got sold and the only places I could arch were at my ex's house or my friend Louise's castle. I haven't done it properly in absolutely ages and this makes me do a sad. With research I found a pretty awesome club. HERE'S THE CLUB. They offer a beginners course of six hour-long sessions in safety and basic technique. And it's only £30. Six lessons for £30 is rather damn good if I say so myself. After the course you can then join the club. The website doesn't specify what the membership fee is and I know that I'd have to buy my own equipment but I could actually finally participate in tournaments which would be FUCKING. EPIC. That is all.
No seriously, that is all. For now. I'll probably come up with more hairbrained schemes and add to this later.
Saturday 16 April 2011
Emo Blog!
Hooray! I promise this will be the only one.
I just feel like I've lost everything and it's all my fault. So I just wanna get this out there, off my chest so I can start being the positive person that I know I am most of the time.
My uni work: My own fault because I barely went to lectures and I'm a whole other level of pragmatic when it comes to concentrating on an essay. I rely on my intelligence which, not meaning to brag, I have and am hopefully gonna come out of my degree with a 2:1. I know I could have got a First.
My health: I don't know that this is my fault so much but my mental and physical health has been spiralling for the last few years. I can feel it happening and I don't know what to do to stop it. I might get a tattoo which says MAN UP or CARPE DIEM or similar. It might help.
My love life: Yeah, you knew this was coming. This is completely my fault and it's all come crashing down around me. Surprisingly, our break up was incredibly genial and I know that after all the silly post-breakup awkwardness he and I will be good friends again. I can definitely do that. But right now I just wish I hadn't screwed it all up so badly.
Death of someone close: I was, by his own secret admission, my grandad's favourite grandchild. I act like him, my aptitude for academia is from 'his genes' according to him (another reason I feel so awful for not trying my best at university) and I didn't realise it until the funeral how much I miss him. I was meant to read the eulogy and thought I was going to be fine, but then SO MANY PEOPLE started turning up. My grandad had so many friends who all travelled so far to pay their respects I basically broke down and Mum had to take me outside to calm down. My Mum also ended up reading the eulogy and had a really hard time of it which made me feel so guilty and weak. I love you so much, Grandad. I miss you more than anything.
My organisational skills: are PISS POOR. I have NO money, NO idea what I'm doing next year. Not even sure if I can stay in Cardiff now, which I've no idea how I'm gonna break that to Katt. I have no job applications in, no post-grad applications in, nowhere to live.
I'm sat here crying while I type this and I just don't know which aspect of my life to turn to first. It's all a bit screwed up, and it's all my fault. HALP?
I just feel like I've lost everything and it's all my fault. So I just wanna get this out there, off my chest so I can start being the positive person that I know I am most of the time.
My uni work: My own fault because I barely went to lectures and I'm a whole other level of pragmatic when it comes to concentrating on an essay. I rely on my intelligence which, not meaning to brag, I have and am hopefully gonna come out of my degree with a 2:1. I know I could have got a First.
My health: I don't know that this is my fault so much but my mental and physical health has been spiralling for the last few years. I can feel it happening and I don't know what to do to stop it. I might get a tattoo which says MAN UP or CARPE DIEM or similar. It might help.
My love life: Yeah, you knew this was coming. This is completely my fault and it's all come crashing down around me. Surprisingly, our break up was incredibly genial and I know that after all the silly post-breakup awkwardness he and I will be good friends again. I can definitely do that. But right now I just wish I hadn't screwed it all up so badly.
Death of someone close: I was, by his own secret admission, my grandad's favourite grandchild. I act like him, my aptitude for academia is from 'his genes' according to him (another reason I feel so awful for not trying my best at university) and I didn't realise it until the funeral how much I miss him. I was meant to read the eulogy and thought I was going to be fine, but then SO MANY PEOPLE started turning up. My grandad had so many friends who all travelled so far to pay their respects I basically broke down and Mum had to take me outside to calm down. My Mum also ended up reading the eulogy and had a really hard time of it which made me feel so guilty and weak. I love you so much, Grandad. I miss you more than anything.
My organisational skills: are PISS POOR. I have NO money, NO idea what I'm doing next year. Not even sure if I can stay in Cardiff now, which I've no idea how I'm gonna break that to Katt. I have no job applications in, no post-grad applications in, nowhere to live.
I'm sat here crying while I type this and I just don't know which aspect of my life to turn to first. It's all a bit screwed up, and it's all my fault. HALP?
Tuesday 12 April 2011
Top 10 'Friends' Guest Stars
Over 10 seasons and 236 episodes, 'Friends' has seen many, many guest stars. Some not so famous for their time in America have gone on to become huge stars, others already huge in America. With over 50 guest appearances, here is my personal favourite top 10:
10. Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin appeared in Season 8 as Phoebe's overly-enthusiastic boyfriend, Parker. He accompanies the Friends to Jack and Judy's 35th wedding anniversary party and is my #10 because he reminds me of a couple of people I know. Here's a short compilation of Parker scenes for you to enjoy:
LOOK AT THIS BOUNCY PLATE THING!
9. Brad Pitt
Hilarity ensues as Jennifer Aniston's then-husband Brad Pitt guest stars in Season 8 as Rachel-hating Will. He's just so. Good. Looking. UNH.
I HATE HER. I JUST, I HATE HER, ROSS, I HATE HER.
8. Danny DeVito
He plays an aged male stripper at Phoebe's bachelorette party in Seaon 10. Need I say more?
UHHHHHH! YOUUUU MAKE ME FEEL
7. Charlie Sheen
Eh, with the current situation, how could I not put Charlie Sheen on this list? Another of Phoebe's boyfriends, this time Phoebe gives Ryan chicken pox and they have to cope on their date.
ITCHY SCRATCHY VIDEO
6. Winona Ryder
Old sorority make-out buddy of Rachel, Winona Ryder plays Melissa. Rachel and Melissa kissed in college but Winona's character swears blind they didn't. This video is the culmination:
A BIT OF GIRL ON GIRL
5. Hugh Laurie
Hardly anyone remembers this guest spot. Hugh Laurie was barely known in the USA at the time of this Season 4 episode. Now, thanks to 'House', he's one of the most well-known faces on TV in America. Of course, us Brits knew back then. This is wonderful.
HUGH LAURIE BEING FUCKING AWESOME
4. Denise Richards
This isn't because I particularly like Denise Richards that much, and her 'acting' isn't brilliant in this, but the reactions of the Friends and the editing is simply genius. It actually guffaw at it.
DANANANAAAA FEELS SO GOOD
3. Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis plays the father of Elizabeth, a *very* young woman whom Ross is dating in Season 6. This scene won Willis an Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series and, to be honest, it's easy to see why.
I, TOO, AM A COOL GUY
2. Robin Williams & Billy Crystal
This is one of my favourite teasers for Friends. It makes me cry with laughter every time. It could be Robin Williams' accent, it could be Billy Crystal's apologetic smile at the end...
I DUNNO. MAYBE IS MY WOOOUND
and my favourite guest spot on Friends of all time is...
1. Jon Lovitz
Just watch it. It *SLAYS* me. (NB. Very pissed off at the quality but it's the only one on YouTube)
TARTLETS?
10. Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin appeared in Season 8 as Phoebe's overly-enthusiastic boyfriend, Parker. He accompanies the Friends to Jack and Judy's 35th wedding anniversary party and is my #10 because he reminds me of a couple of people I know. Here's a short compilation of Parker scenes for you to enjoy:
LOOK AT THIS BOUNCY PLATE THING!
9. Brad Pitt
Hilarity ensues as Jennifer Aniston's then-husband Brad Pitt guest stars in Season 8 as Rachel-hating Will. He's just so. Good. Looking. UNH.
I HATE HER. I JUST, I HATE HER, ROSS, I HATE HER.
8. Danny DeVito
He plays an aged male stripper at Phoebe's bachelorette party in Seaon 10. Need I say more?
UHHHHHH! YOUUUU MAKE ME FEEL
7. Charlie Sheen
Eh, with the current situation, how could I not put Charlie Sheen on this list? Another of Phoebe's boyfriends, this time Phoebe gives Ryan chicken pox and they have to cope on their date.
ITCHY SCRATCHY VIDEO
6. Winona Ryder
Old sorority make-out buddy of Rachel, Winona Ryder plays Melissa. Rachel and Melissa kissed in college but Winona's character swears blind they didn't. This video is the culmination:
A BIT OF GIRL ON GIRL
5. Hugh Laurie
Hardly anyone remembers this guest spot. Hugh Laurie was barely known in the USA at the time of this Season 4 episode. Now, thanks to 'House', he's one of the most well-known faces on TV in America. Of course, us Brits knew back then. This is wonderful.
HUGH LAURIE BEING FUCKING AWESOME
4. Denise Richards
This isn't because I particularly like Denise Richards that much, and her 'acting' isn't brilliant in this, but the reactions of the Friends and the editing is simply genius. It actually guffaw at it.
DANANANAAAA FEELS SO GOOD
3. Bruce Willis
Bruce Willis plays the father of Elizabeth, a *very* young woman whom Ross is dating in Season 6. This scene won Willis an Emmy for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series and, to be honest, it's easy to see why.
I, TOO, AM A COOL GUY
2. Robin Williams & Billy Crystal
This is one of my favourite teasers for Friends. It makes me cry with laughter every time. It could be Robin Williams' accent, it could be Billy Crystal's apologetic smile at the end...
I DUNNO. MAYBE IS MY WOOOUND
and my favourite guest spot on Friends of all time is...
1. Jon Lovitz
Just watch it. It *SLAYS* me. (NB. Very pissed off at the quality but it's the only one on YouTube)
TARTLETS?
Sunday 3 April 2011
'5,000 words... Is that *all*?'
My dissertation deadline is a week on Wednesday and to be quite frank I am sick to fucking death of people hearing that my dissertation 'only' has to be between five and six thousand words and responding with: "Oh, is that all?" or "Oooh, lucky you! Mine was/is/has to be 15,000 words" blah blah etc etc.
Look, I've asked other people about their dissertations and when they've told me stuff about it I've said things like "Oooh, that's an interesting topic" or "Good luck! I'm sure you're gonna rock it". I have NOT said "Wow, 7,000 words? Sounds like a piece of piss" or similar. It's just getting on my nerves. No offence but my dissertation is only worth 20 credits (1/6th of my final year; 1/12th of my degree in total), perhaps your longer dissertation is worth more credits - THAT'S WHY IT'S LONGER. And anyway you don't know what I have to do for it. It pretty much has to be completely original research (and on Lord of the Rings that's not exactly easy stuff) and well-written, coherent, well-organised and of practically publishable quality. Your 10,000 word dissertation might have to consist of an experiment, with a methodology.
I might be a bit of a bitch for saying this but I'd gladly accept that my dissertation was easier if I got to write 1/5th of it on how I conducted the research for it and my methodology. But I don't, so just shut the fuck up about it, okay? I'm not complaining that the word count is too much so I really don't see any fucking need to bring it up.
Recently this has been the only response to me talking about my dissertation. People don't even ask what I'm writing it on or how it's going: they simply want to know why it's so short. Anyway, just a ranty blog about that reaaaally hacking me off. I feel better now. :]
Look, I've asked other people about their dissertations and when they've told me stuff about it I've said things like "Oooh, that's an interesting topic" or "Good luck! I'm sure you're gonna rock it". I have NOT said "Wow, 7,000 words? Sounds like a piece of piss" or similar. It's just getting on my nerves. No offence but my dissertation is only worth 20 credits (1/6th of my final year; 1/12th of my degree in total), perhaps your longer dissertation is worth more credits - THAT'S WHY IT'S LONGER. And anyway you don't know what I have to do for it. It pretty much has to be completely original research (and on Lord of the Rings that's not exactly easy stuff) and well-written, coherent, well-organised and of practically publishable quality. Your 10,000 word dissertation might have to consist of an experiment, with a methodology.
I might be a bit of a bitch for saying this but I'd gladly accept that my dissertation was easier if I got to write 1/5th of it on how I conducted the research for it and my methodology. But I don't, so just shut the fuck up about it, okay? I'm not complaining that the word count is too much so I really don't see any fucking need to bring it up.
Recently this has been the only response to me talking about my dissertation. People don't even ask what I'm writing it on or how it's going: they simply want to know why it's so short. Anyway, just a ranty blog about that reaaaally hacking me off. I feel better now. :]
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