Female Comedy Influences

I am now involved with a comedy sketch group and was thinking on my influences the other day.

Not a film watcher or a music listener, there was one thing my mother brought me up to appreciate fully and that was female sketch comedians (I far prefer them to female stand ups). So here's a very quick rundown of my major influences


Victoria Wood & Julie Walters
I get this disgustingly huge smile on my face when I watch these ladies perform together. Victoria Wood is an unmitigated genius and Julie Walters' physical comedy in every single sketch brings me to tears of joy. I've mentioned before that Two Soups is pretty much my favourite sketch of all time so I'll post something different by them. Gah! I love them!



Dawn French & Jennifer Saunders
The grand mistresses of the parody, French and Saunders were my first comedy gig at the Bristol Hippodrome in 2000. As I've mentioned and posted videos by French and Saunders before here's a live sketch from that very gig I went to see.


Fiona Allen, Doon Mackichan and Sally Phillips (aka Smack the Pony)
This is one of my mum's favourite TV shows so it's got this incredibly nostalgic feel to it for me. It makes me so happy. These three sketches crack me up:


The ladies of Saturday Night Live
I can't leave this post without mentioning my favourite ladies from the longest-running sketch show ever, Saturday Night Live. To be a live sketch comedienne as a full time job means these ladies are the cream of the crop. And oh man, they're sickeningly inspiring.

Gilda Radner (1975-1980)



Amy Poehler & Tina Fey (2000-2008) - I wanted to show their Golden Globes opening because they're just genius together



Kristen Wiig (2005-2012)



Kate McKinnon (2012-present)
 

How To: Pikachu iPhone Charger

This post will show you how to make your iPhone charger plug into a Pikachu face!


Here's what you will need:

• your Apple charger plug (make sure it is long out of the socket and HANDLE WITH CARE)
• a yellow sharpie
• a black sharpie
• a red sharpie

 

Remember to handle the plug very carefully so you don't shock yourself.

Step One: Take the yellow sharpie and colour in the entire plug (except the back!)

 Step Two: Mark in the position and size of the eyes using the black sharpie.

 Step Three: Add the nose down from the eyes, it's an upside down triangle. Then mark in the mouth, it's like a flattened 3. Mine is all a little wonky, I'm sure yours will be better!

Step Four: Add in cheeks using the red sharpie. They're a little smaller than the eyes and diagonally down and outwards from them. As a finishing touch I added the white in Pikachu's eyes. I'd suggest using white nail polish to put a white dot on, or Tipex!

Et voila. Mine looks all mucky and weird because I tried to spray it with a sealer after I'd finished. Don't do that, all the black ran down and he looked like Horrific Hallowe'en Pikachu.

Writer's Room - THE UPDATE

I originally wrote this post when I was sharing a house with two other people and basically kept 95% of my belongings in one awful room.

Well, now I've sort of got my shit together and live in a lovely flat; have done for almost a year now. So as a nice comeback to this blog I thought I'd update you all on my surroundings.

The Bed

Same bedding, just been made. Oh and my landlady is nice so the bed ISN'T a broken mess that gives me back issues. Tidy!

The Desk

Again, same PC/desk components, I just have a lot more room to play around with now. Plus, lookit! Nice carpeting rather than freezing cold floorboards! I love my little flat.

The Bookshelf

Still don't have even a tenth of my books here, but this is where I keep them. And yes, I still pile a bunch of crap on top of and in front of the books. But I'm getting better. I intend to sand down these bookcases and paint them a mint green soon!


Storage Areas

What? WHAT?! There's no crap shoved here there and everywhere it'll fit? Everything is relatively neatly organised in storage cupboards? Well, shiiii.

 

Yay for proper storage!

DVD/Game Collection

 

 Me and the boyfriend merged our collections and organised them semi-neatly on some shelves! Note Blade and Hulky on top there :D

Clothes

I have two wardrobes now and I love them. There's SPACE IN FRONT OF THEM as well. Yay! Still not the most neatly organised I know. Planning to go through and give lots away to charity because I really don't wear the majority of it. Note to self: stop assigning all belongings sentimental value.

"Dresser"

 

And instead of keeping my cosmetics and toiletries scattered haphazardly around my room I now scatter them haphazardly on the windowsill in my bathroom. I love my bathroom. Look at the tiles!


There you have it, a little update. A cleaner working area means better focus and more work gets done. I'm so happy now.

I Hate Everyone Who Goes To The Cinema

I came back to check up on my blog this afternoon and was HORRIFIED to discover I haven't updated it in FOUR MONTHS. What's that about?

So, unable to bother enough to write something original for today here's a piece I wrote a while back about hating everyone who goes to the cinema. Enjoy.

Fresh Queen of Cathays

On the fields of Somerset, born and raised
In my tractor is where I spent most of my days
Ploughin' and preparin' my harvest was a lark
And doing some cow-tipping after it turned dark.

When a couple of guys, they might've been thiefs
Started makin' crop circles in amongst my sheafs
I ruined one barn dance and folk started tellin' tales
I said I'm going to study lit in a city in Wales

I whistled for my horse and when it came close
I saw someone had kindly shaved "M4" on its arse
If anything I could say that this might've been a myth
But I though "nah forget it, oh boyo! To the 'Diff!"

**Doodoo doo DOODOO doo dooo! Doodoo doo DOODOO doo doo!**

We. Reared. UP to student halls, where I would be living
I implored of lovely Dobbin "yo horse, stop shitting"
I looked at my bedroom in a wonder and haze,
I'm finally here. I'm the Queen of Cathays.

Kyle's Ravenclaw Scarf

Quite a while ago I believe I promised my friend off of the Twitters, @iamspacebar a Harry Potter scarf and then I forgot about it. He kindly reminded me just before Christmas and, ignoring his pleas that he was kidding, I went ahead and big fat knitted one for him anyway.

His house is obviously Ravenclaw so I found this lovely super-chunky yarn by Patons. I picked the colours "Delphinium" and "Indigo" as they were cute hues of Ravenclaw blue. They can be purchased HERE. Because it was super chunky it knit up really quickly.

I just went for a simple scarf structure. I used 10mm needles, cast on 20 stitches and knit 25 rows in each colour before switching back and casting off when I nearly ran out of yarn. Simple!

Here are some photos of *me* wearing it, because I'm yet to send it up to bonny Scotland for Kyle...




This is an in-progress photo of me setting in the loose ends after the knitting with a crochet hook I had lying around.






And because I'm wholly uncapable of being completely serious about anything this is a little shot I like to call Dilophosaurus-Chic



Click HERE to view this work on my Ravelry.

Writer's Room

This is a blog post about that most spectacular of things: the Writer's Room.

No, not the BBC website (( CLICK HERE )) which you should check out if you *do* write as it's inspiring and awesome.

No, the bedroom/workspace of a young writer; older writers have got their shit together somewhat and can possibly afford two separate rooms for sleeping and work. Not us under the age of 55 though.



Behold! The bed, expertly made just how I like it! Sure, it has an overabundance of cushions, pillows and blankets and SURE I may HAVE to rearrange and pad about like a restless cat for half an hour before I settle at 5am each night... but this is where the magic happens. And by magic I mean reading sometimes. And sleeping. Mmmmmm.



Behold! My PC. Built by me so it doesn't work as well as a ready-made shop bought one. That's how I like it. This is where I do my research and writing. Well... when I say research I mean browsing Reddit, Tumblr and occasionally Wikipedia (for verification; that site is so correct ALL of the time). Aaaand by writing I mean browsing Reddit, Tumblr and occasionally Wikipedia for hours before writing half a page, getting tired and crawling the half a metre to bed. WITHOUT my feet having to touch the floor might I add? Chyeah.



Behold! (Okay, I'll stop with the beholding) My bookshelf. Stocked to the brim with my assortment of books. Get this, only those which I have purchased in 2011 are here (and one or two already in 2012). I will blog on this minor, MINOR obsession at a later date. But yeah, man I love books. There's also a complete boxset of The Wire sitting there. Ignore that. And the knitting. That's not where that goes.





These are the storage areas of my room. Above the gas meter cupboard, behind my desk and under my bed. As you can see everything is neatly stacked and labelled to make it really easy for me when I want to find something and/or move house. Proud of these.




This is my DVD/Xbox game collection. At one point it was all categorised and alphabetised but then I wanted it to be colour-coded, lost heart IMMEDIATELY and this happened. The only semblance of intelligence in this set up is the Star Trek and Friends boxsets being used like bookends. Hooray!



My clothes, all washed nicely and hung away. I'm all neat and tidy with my clothes like that.



My dresser... I *think*. Look, it's called organised chaos. I know where everything is in my room! ...Unless it's in one of the storage areas. Don't ask about those, I get upset.

SHUT UP.

Janu-hairy

I'm hilarious. Here is the January hair. Apple green.

My Favourite Comedy Sketches

5. Upper Class Twit of the Year

The thing that gets me in this sketch is that the cheering crowd is mostly made up of cardboard cut-outs of donkeys.



4. Mastermind

The epitome of the two Ronnies' fantastic wordplay.



3. Two Soups

Julie Walters is such a genius comedy actress; team this with Victoria Wood's genius comedy writing and what results is one of the funniest sketches ever.



2. Breakfast

Classic. It's the timing of it.



1. LOTR spoof

There are no words to describe how much I love this.

Christmas Recipe

Ingredients:
- 1 packet butterscotch Angel Delight
- 200ml milk
- 100ml Baileys

Instructions:
- Mix
- Whisk
- Wait 5 minutes (whilst drinking Baileys on ice)
- Eat
- Repeat

'Below The Deck' Comedy Night Review: 9/9/11

Having spent the majority of Friday expelling the contents of my stomach into my bin an invitation from a jocular pal to come laugh at him was an opportunity I was in no position to turn down. Upon arriving at The Deck Coffee Shop on Harrowby Street in Cardiff Bay I found myself surprised I hadn’t been here before. The venue is small but has already established itself a quirky little style and, although beers were fairly expensive, me and my weak stomach were pleased at the 85p cokes on sale upstairs.

After a few lovey-chats between the all-male acts and the friendly event-organiser Leroy Brito, we made our way down a small wooden staircase into the basement room, paying the £3 entry fee to Leroy’s lovely girlfriend on the way. I settled myself on the front row; I have a hideously loud coven-cackle and can you imagine having me sat behind you on a comedy night? Hellish.

The compére for the evening was the deadpan boy wonder Patrick Harries. I felt he made a decent compére for his improv skills and fairly witty banter with the audience. After a while I found the compéring to be a tad repetitive and that Harries used all his original material in the introduction to the first act – a mildly humourous bit about working in John Lewis and being stoned. From then on it was a little bit all-filler-no-killer as Harries repeatedly instructed members of the audience to clap and whoop for the acts and engaged in an altercation with the Coffee Shop owner which lasted almost too long for comfort. Luckily, Harries managed to reel it back in shortly before it would have become quite awkward.

Still, never mind that, the first act onto the stage was Simon Emanuel and, this not being my first experience of Emanuel, I knew what we were in for. I was not wrong; Emanuel’s comedy style is fast-paced, ADHD-fuelled, manic and quite simply brilliant. The content is a little predictable by appearance but it hardly matters. I do find it slightly strange that Simon Emanuel has not yet been signed as the sheer volume of gigs he has performed and hard work and energy which goes into each and every performance he certainly deserves to have been.

The chilled performing style of second act Jimmy Berrigan led me to think that not a huge amount of thought was put into the performance ordering. I’ll have to admit that I automatically felt sorry for Berrigan at having to follow Emanuel, purely because his style was so incredibly different. However I liked this guy, I liked his relaxed style. He didn’t fawn over nor did he pander to the audience and was unthreatened if there was no laughter for several beats. Berrigan’s unfazeable demeanour was very endearing and a large section of great comedy about his two daughters drew the biggest laughs. Berrigan’s was a very enjoyable routine.

The final performer before the break was Jason Manly, a warm, experienced comedy gigger from Newport/Dorset who began with some self-depricating jokes which brought the audience immediately onto his side (he is neither a gay porn star nor an American cage fighter). A few of his jokes were classically cheesy which was great and Manly was, believe it or not, the first comedian of the night to talk directly to me when I was about 5 seconds slower than the rest of the room at getting a pun-based joke (I wasn’t WELL, okay?) Manly’s act relaxed the audience into the half-way break and was very enjoyable. I’d recommend catching his act if you ever get the chance.

The first act following the break was my good friend the AVERAGE-SIZED HUMAN BEING Drew Davies who began with some jokes about his height (he swears he’s tall enough to get on *all* of the rollercoasters). Davies had some new material which flowed excellently with his older pieces and I felt the set was paced very well with a mixture of anecdote, philosophy and general ‘wackiness’. A greater part of Davies’ set is a story about ex-girlfriends and I personally found it hilarious when he referred to my friend Cath as his ‘latest’ girlfriend before apologising profusely. This night only being Davies’ fifth live stand-up gig I feel like he is definitely beginning to hit his stride and simply needs to carry on with the same level of ease and confidence he has now developed with his sets.

Dan Hamilton was probably the act who appealed most directly to me on the night. As I was watching I found myself immersed in the psyche of someone heavily comparable to Sam Kinison, Bill Hicks and perhaps only in terms of energy, Rik Mayall. I know that’s a lot of things to suggest to have influenced him, but the mixture of it all was fantastic. I bloody loved it: simple as. Beginning with a short piece about misanthropy allowing him to judge the room Hamilton quickly settled into his shouty, sweaty, austere stride. I might have cried with laughter at a Hitler joke whilst other less... sick people amongst the audience groaned, to which Hamilton replied without missing a beat ‘Too soon?’ Admittedly, ripped directly from Jimmy Carr but this drew a larger laugh as we relaxed into his style a bit more. Hamilton ended with a song to which I related a little too hard and left me fighting for breath through laughter: wonderful stuff. I can highly recommend this guy.

The final act of the night was Geraint Dafydd Evans whose brand of accessible humour went down very well with the audience. I wouldn’t say that Evans was the ‘headline’ of the night as I’m pretty sure that’s not how these nights work but he did handle the most difficult position of the night exceptionally well. It was late and the audience were beginning to get tired (I was starting to feel a little squiffy again) and yet Evans kept us laughing constantly throughout his set. I particularly enjoyed a short bit about making up for being a small man from the Valleys by doing stupid things; cue Evans shoving up the sleeve of his t-shirt to reveal a cartoonish skull and crossbones tattoo: ‘I look like if Glee did a Pirates of the Caribbean special!’ A brilliant closer to a great night of comedy.

All together the night was a strangely-paced, Jew-joke filled, testosteroni-topped pizza and I digested it rather well. (Sorry)


LINKS

Deck Coffee Shop

Simon Emanuel

Jimmy Berrigan

Jason Manly

Drew Davies

Dan Hamilton

Geraint Evans

Patrick Harries

Below The Deck Comedy Club

When I'm alone...

...I find myself cooking whilst singing

"Fuck, I love pesto. I just really love it."

to the tune of Tim Minchin's Boobs song.

A Walk To Forget

It's 1am. I want to walk.

I don't know where I'd go...

...but that's hardly the point.


We never truly know where we're walking to, only what we're walking away from.


Why is walking away from this so difficult? It's only walking.

100 Simple Pleasures - Part 1

001 - Watching Ninja Warrior
002 - Having a nice cup of tea made for me
003 - Being appreciated as a good friend
004 - Having a slightly tipsy, in-depth conversation with a stranger
005 - When one of my cats settles on my lap without being called
006 - Talking to my cousin Aaron without humorously insulting banter
007 - Talking to my cousin Aaron with humorously insulting banter
008 - Waking up early and realising I can have a huge lie in
009 - My LOTR extended edition boxset
010 - Dinosaurs. Anything to do with dinosaurs
011 - When people tell me I'm good at knitting/crochet
012 - Doing the cat-Sellotape-paws dance with Cath and Drew
013 - Alex fucking Butterworth <3
014 - Feeling really comfortable in my own home with amazing housemates
015 - "Hugging it out"
016 - Come Dine With Me
017 - Having a lucky number. It's 17
018 - Starting to feel like my life is coming back together again
019 - My Elekk in WoW
020 - Dipli
021 - Steggy
022 - Memories of the Caribbean
023 - Cwtching up in bed and watching a film
024 - Sheldon Cooper
025 - Retail therapy
026 - Getting enough sleep
027 - An ice cold pint of Coke on a hot day
028 - Tanning really easily
029 - Knowing an answer on University Challenge
030 - TotallyLooksLike.com
031 - Geeky boys
032 - Nerdy boys
033 - Eccentric Englishmen
034 - Pokémon
035 - Ginger cats
036 - Ginger Katts
037 - Doing the fork in the garbage disposal
038 - Simon from Yogscast
039 - Doing the Creep
040 - Whipping my hair
041 - When Jonny DJs at Clwb
042 - A quiz
043 - In-jokes with Rachel
044 - PORK
045 - Male friends who never have been, and never will be, more than that.
046 - Anything written by Graham Linehan
047 - Watching AbFab
048 - Getting into a cycle of Friends quotations
049 - Paddy's Hobbin and Dobbin joke
050 - Being serenaded by Ana Catris

Nasty piece of work

He sent me a follow-up message...



Believe me, I have deleted him.

The Riots

This is a facebook conversation between my cousin and I. Makes me sick.

Beautiful Photography

Just wanted to share some of my favourite photography from the last few months.


A mother comforting her son in Concord, Alabama, near his house which was entirely destroyed by a tornado. Photograph: Jeff Roberts/AP


Royal wedding celebrations in the Victoria memorial fountain outside Buckingham Palace. Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty


Lightning over Kathmandu. Photograph: Navesh Chitrakar/Reuters


Lightning over Portland Harbour and Chesil Beach on Dorset's Jurassic Coast. Photograph: Justin Turner/Dorset Media Service


Lava shooting from an Icelandic volcano as photographer Skarphedinn Thrainsson stands nearby (he regularly risks injury to get his pictures) Photograph: Skarphedinn Thrainsson


The Royal Festival Hall stage in london filled with grand pianos from Lang Lang Inspires - the Chinese piano star plays alongside 100 outstanding young British pianists. Photograph: Lewis Whyld/PA


Believe it or not this is actually a photograph. It's of the flooded rice fields of Laohuzui in Yuanyang, Yunnan province, China reflecting the sky. The Hani people have grown rice here for more than 700 years. The blue strips are vegetable greenhouses; the black, rows of trees and water embankments. Photograph: George Doupas/Solent News


The skies above southern Chile the day after an eruption in the Puyehue-Cordón Caulle volcanic chain. An average of 230 earthquakes an hour were recorded in the region before the eruption, which blew an ash cloud six miles high and produced storms of volcanic lightning. Photograph: Francisco Negroni/AP


Chelsea pensioners at the annual Founders Day Parade at the Royal hospital in London. Photograph: Max Mumby


The Olympic stadium in east London as all the arena lights are turned on simultaneously for the first time. Photograph: Jason Hawkes/Barcroft Media


People walking in to a familiar sight at Glastonbury Festival. Photograph: Yui Mok/PA


A pigeon at a fountain in Madrid. Photograph: Dominique Faget/AFP/Getty Images


Gay Pride parade participants march down Regent Street. Photograph: Andy Rain/EPA


A group of crested black macaques at a national park in Indonesia turn the tables on wildlife photographer David Slater. Photograph: Wild Monkey/David Slater/Caters News


Artist David Mach's most recent piece, Golgotha, made from coat hangers and pinned to steel girders. Photograph: Rosie Hallam/Barcroft Media


A calf leaps over revellers in the bullring after a running of the bulls at the San Fermin fiesta in Pamplona, Spain. Photograph: Ivan Aguinaga/AP


Samantha Langsdale plays at the 27th Underwater Music Festival off Florida. About 500 musical divers took part. Photograph: Dan Burton/Barcroft Media


Sydney Truba, 11, participates in Mud Day, when 75,000 litres of water are mixed with 180 tonnes of topsoil to create a giant sludge bath in Michigan. Photograph: Bill Pugliano/Getty Images


Lucien Freud, who recently died aged 88, working in his Holland Park studio in 2005. David Dawson, Freud's long-time assistant, artist and photographer, took the picture. Photograph: David Dawson